To say it’s been an easy, pain-free, everyone’s giving one another grace each moment time would be a lie.
What I am about to write is not uncommon to many who’ve had surgery, regardless of the money. It’s simply what’s up currently, and details as to my and Wendi’s BIG and MAJOR thanks to all of you who have prayed for she and I through our issues. If anyone ever asks me why I play blues music again… well… heh?!!
First the positive and general matters:
We love God, one another and through two close girlfriends of Wendi’s several family, close friends and a lot of prayer from our church/community we’re making it through. It could all be MUCH worse and is for several close friends. God is good, gracious and kind. This fallen world (and ourselves) not always so. So we get that. We are THANKFUL, but whew, it’s been a ride!
To think she may be able to walk again and get around (even our little room) to do things, perhaps garden and move about without pain will be near heaven. Really, truly, Alleluia and praise to God for such grace and medical science!
Excellent surgeon, doctors, nurses. The hip opp went perfectly, her next two days of recovery and rehab were truly a breeze.
As per last surgery we realized her anti nausea and pain meds would likely need re-adjustment, might not work when the initial meds ended via i.v.. We also understood re. our insurance (thanks Prez Obama) would be the only way we could get Wendi home with a wheelchair lift van due to her opp. and (needing a knee replacement on that side next…) knee, so…
The “rough sledding” stuff:
Then came her life-long issues with muscle cramps, some right at the incision spot. She has asthma and that kicked in some, partly due to the weather changes.
Pain kicked in worse, intestinal issues I won’t name here and after actual discharge sixteen (yep) hours with about 5 false starts for the right van to show up and get her home which is 20 mins. from the hospital (I won’t detail this nightmare either but it has nothing to do with Obamacare, that’s a fact).
She’s getting stronger at home, dealing with missing the homecare nurse due to getting home so late, now it’s the weekend… then there is the issue of two key pain meds being prescribed and (no exaggeration) phone calls to our pharmacy (“We can get those in about five days from now”) and her nausea, pain and cramps going nuts.
She had perhaps three or four hours of sleep the last 3 nights in hospital… so you can imagine. Book of Job comes to mind 🙂
We love and forgive one another daily. I blunder through trying to understand what she needs and how to best help her get it. She is tested with pain and patience, I am tested with understanding, kindness and sense as well as patience, and really how to best help.
Neither of us has gotten the sort of sleep one would wish.
Our ability to communicate (man-woman), doing so when a need is immediate and one is in pain and both lack sleep, added hearing loss (I have aids, she doesn’t just yet) all completes the “boot camp”, “lesson learning” scale from one to ten to about a sixteen!
So she heals slowly, is getting stronger, we are working through our pain, to be blunt, my own sense of selfishness/ineptitude, growing in patience (“love is patient, love is kind”), kindness, forgiveness and super appreciating all our friends near and far who pray.
My wife has a sense of innocence and grace in all this that is massively convicting to me. She is far more intelligent than I and her faith and child-like love for God is outstanding. I’ve been taxed emotionally to the breaking point plenty, but I deeply love Jesus and know He is present. We both sense His comfort often, but whew… this is a road-and-a-half to walk.
Meanwhile we’ve close friends whose entire family is laced with far worse medical issues, people are being daily tortured to death in this sick, sinful world, on and on it goes. Convicting when I want to complain or get really angry.
I know the scriptures on faith, healing, gifts and such fully (and believe, practice and apply them best I’m able). I also know “why” isn’t the issue, rather “what”.
I cold list several reasons that suffice in my own life re. both the why’s and what’s re. pain, sickness and God healing or not, etc.. In the end, it’s the emotional issues and personal peace in suffering that hit me hardest these past few years, and that not so much about my own health but of course, that of the one I love most on earth.
The “accuser” works to get us to blame God, others and ourselves, reminding us (in our “old nature”) to “fix it”, to somehow manipulate to get closure and get whatever it may be we want. We rationalize ourselves into and out of jams, but there are times such is just not possible and the emotions roll, if unchecked, the heart wanders, we are tempted to self-medicate and/or think and speak un-truths we ought not.
This has been a larger-than-desired part of the journey.
Obviously, it is part (or likely shall be) part of yours dear reader.
Here is where we truly stand: Phil. 4.13, 19, 20
Thanks so very much for your prayers as we move through this part of our life journey.
As always, thanks for stopping by!