There is a time for every purpose under heaven… and I say there is a time, a person (or persons) and a right, safe and healthy way to “vent”. There is also a wrong way, an unhealthy way and persons un-useful for such times as they may truly stumble, feed our own sense of self-righteousness or both.
One way to drive yourself crazy is to never, ever verbalize exactly how you
feel and what you are thinking when upset, fearful, angry and the like.
We ALL need safe people to sound-out, to blow off the steam of aggravations, worries and concerns about ourselves, our marriage partners, people at school, work, our boss, etc., etc..
We need to be able to really get it out of our system but also learn when to chill and keep our blood pressure at some kind of safe level also!
We all need to talk straight and I might add, need solid people who have both the love for us, patience with us -and- guts to tell us when we’re over the top, out-of-order, imbalanced and at times, plain wrong about our opinions and personal judgment on X, Y or Z.
There’s a time (and person/people with whom) to vent… and a time and peeps when/whom with we should refrain from doing so.
The hard part is finding, building long-term relationships and nurturing such
friendships with such people. I mean solid people who can bring us to balance when we only want peeps to smile and agree with us.
The other hard part is taking what may well be their sage advice when we don’t want it.
To find someone who will really listen- hard as that is- may be easier than to find someone who will gracefully but firmly tell us we’re out to lunch on a
point, maybe even a major point in our thinking or actions.
We NEED peeps who will allow us to vent and then at some moment in the discussion help us settle down and put the “knife” of anger or “monster” of fear away.
All of this is a judgment call on the part of the other person(s), but I can
tell you the option is a “fan base”, “groupies” or a “clique” who nearly always agree with us and what might be called our personal demon(s).
The “yes-man” is of no real value if that’s the only sort of friend you have.
The continual “you’re WRONG dude!” person won’t help you grow either.
In my own case, a lot of prayer and serious grace brought me into relationship with several people many years ago who have remained my closest friends. They have been exactly the sort of balanced people I’m writing about here, and without them I would have often been a great deal more of a misery to myself and others… than I have been! Truth.
“Woe to the one who is alone when they fall…” -and we all do of course.
Balance. Perspective. Health. It comes in community, not alone.
Thanks for stopping by! -Glenn