Living Alone -Why Solo?

An old friend recently pointed me to an article that got me thinking.

The issues were all about music-making, what sort of people created
what sort of lyrics, songs and art in a world that seemed (to the
writer) more and more narcissistic.

I think selfishness, arrogance and excess has always been around, but
I also think as large portions -and perhaps the majority- of any given
society loses any sense of restraint, their art reveals what’s in
their heart.

There is no doubt people create art to make money, to become popular,
to feel like they’re successful and so on. Sometimes the shock value
alone brings them some of what they seek.

But it’s like sex for money… there’s no love in it at all.

When self is THE motivating factor, a solo act is what you end up with.

Now I admit that I find it stimulating to see what I can come up with
all by myself, playing solo.

I’m not saying that nobody ever should, nor that any of us -must- have
a band, but one of the points of the article is that we live in a time
when we have the option via computers and the Internet, to just go it
alone as artists… or artist-wannabees.

It’s true that just surviving takes a great deal of time and energy
-and so does relationship-building and doing things together with
others.

We live in a world that seems increasingly more willing to ditch
relationships on the basis of personal desire alone. And that’s why
many end up miserably alone.

It’s simpler. Easier. I don’t NEED you, I just use you and walk when I
don’t get what I want from the link.

We sort of treat people like websites.

Marriage, long-term relationships with others, holding the same job
and other relational links are a matter of choice, sacrifice and
commitment.

Increasingly independent-in-the-extreme thinking, choosing and living
leave us cold… but the hard work of honest, sensitive communication
and commitment that bring and sustain community cost to the extent
plenty of people just won’t go there.

Therefore families, marriages, bands, record companies, booking
agencies and shared community evaporate. It’s about “me”, rarely “us”.

People are dying for intimacy while at the same time often seem less
willing to pay the price for it: dying to self.

Please know I loved and love my mother- but her sad story is a vivid
illustration I’m well acquainted with.

She pretty much lived as a recluse the last 15 or so years of her life.

My brother and sister occasionally looked in on her, my wife and I did
likewise- but she basically had no friends left.

She had been abused as a child, had a child by a married man, married
my Dad and had my sister, had my older brother and I, divorced my Dad,
went in and out of relationships with men (married or not) and finally
between selfishness, guilt and self-seeking destroyed relationships
with nearly everyone she’d ever known.

She was tragically alone near the end of her life, except for the
occasional connect with we three kids.

But she had mostly “run everybody off” by then.

The more one stares in a mirror as opposed to truly caring for and
paying the (admittedly often high) price of relationships the more I
can near-guarantee alone-ness, depression and despair in their life.

Sometimes solo is a blessing. Sometimes it’s a curse.

We were designed by a God who created us for relationship, both with
Him and with one another.

We were not made to pose and pretend or believe our own lie: “I’m God
and I don’t NEED anyone else”!

As painful (believe me, I know) and hard work-laced as life can be
regarding relationships, it’s far worse to torch them with selfish,
biblically sinful desires and habits ruling your life.

This is one of many reasons some of us have chosen stability and
long-term commitment as opposed to cutting and running when things get
tough.

Rodney King asked “Can’t we all get along”?

My response is that we indeed can- if we’ll grow up and put away our
“adult children” attitude.

It ain’t about me… it’s about Him and us!

Thanks for stopping by. -Glenn

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